I'm really starting to question the purpose of me being here
Ive never seen myself as someone smart but I've always strived to be a fighter
No matter how far behind or how incompetent i felt,
these negative feelings will be pushed aside
(because i force myself to shut these demoralizing thoughts out)
and i continue to compete, not with others but with myself
But anyway, the truth is
I've been struggling so hard and i really feel like giving up
It sucks especially when my results don't reflect on the amount of effort I've put in
Hard work really doesn't necessarily pay off.
And yeah, 'everything happens for a reason'
but i just cannot justify.
Why does this happen all the time?
I really don't think I'm up to it
I feel dumb, stupid, useless, incompetent and resigned
I'm so tired
Physically and mentally drained
So damn fucking tired
So sick of disappointments
I've had enough,
I'm just done.
"Fill your heart with what's important and forget about all the rest."
Hey, I know it seems like your hardwork didn't pay off. But if you stop now, everything that you have done so far would have been for noting. You pride yourself as a fighter I believe in trying my best too, pick yourself up. Give it another shot, do not give up, push yourself harder. life is a marathon not a 100m dash, its ok to doubt yourself but do not wallow in self pity, prove to yourself that your better than this and better than everyone else =)
ReplyDeleteHello :) omg i just saw this! Whoever you are, thank you so much :) i really appreciate it, whether we know each other personally or not. Thanks for the encouragement, i will try harder. Im feeling much better now, guess it gets better w time. :) All the best to you too, fighter! Lets do this shitttt hahaha x
DeleteHey Yongie,
ReplyDeleteSometimes studies isn't everything there is to life. (:! I know the Singapore education make it seem that studies is everything but it really isn't. Don't spend your time EVERYDAY in sch. Go do volunteer work or really go out to interact with people. You will find out there is much bigger things there is to studying (:!
Hey :)
DeleteYeah, i get what you mean. Haha but it's really sad how so many of us are being 'trapped' in this education system.
Would really love to do everything but to stay in school to study/rush assignments/have meetings, but honestly it's so difficult to find time haha sigh. Constantly feeling like I'm racing against time haha but yeah, really need a break from everything
Haha I'm just waiting for summer break :) Thats when i can really do all these things without any stress haha :)
But thanks anyway, really appreciate your comment/concern! :) x
Crapcakes I typed a long comment and it didn't appear.
ReplyDeleteBut hey hun! Don't be so upset! My friend once said to me before that if you think your effort didn't pay off for something, it could be that all of the effort you've sown hasn't had time to harvest yet! It will happen one day so meanwhile don't be upset! Keep putting in effort and hard work! It will pay off sooner or later :>
And you should be totally proud of yourself for being so hardworking! Trying is something worthy of applause! You're too young to be this upset because of how the education system is like!
Don't give up! x
Heyyy :) Thank you so much, whoever you are :)
DeleteI am really grateful and glad to see all these comments, really wished i knew who you guys were haha but its okay anw :)
Thank you for the encouragement :) I certainly do hope it will pay off, if not it'll be so so depressing :( Haha
But no worries I'm okay now and not worrying or as sad about my grades than i was a couple of days ago :)
Just wanted to say that i really appreciate your encouragement :) thank you once again x